Patrick Achitabwino articles

FORGIVE ME MY LOVE

Patrick Achitabwino

Ciara my love, I humbly kneel before thee, though in this circumstance like a penitent before a priest shielded in a confession box. Ciara my love I know you can hear me; we are only curtained from each other by this wooden door. I can hear the pounding of your heart, smell the aroma of your Arabic scent, and see the flood of tears that is wiping away the debris of anger smeared over your heart.

Oh, thee my beloved, the only one God in his infinite wisdom saw worthy that I go to the altar with; I humbly say I am very sorry. I read the epoch of my shame in the newspaper, saw the severity of my infidelity on television, and to cap it all suspended at the office for giving wrong excuses for a wrong cause. Ciara, this is the moment that my life needs you most. You are the only shoulder that I can lean on.

Aaah, I have come back to my senses, please open the door to see the avalanche of tears cascading down my cheeks. Though I am walking on clutches, the distance from the stage to this your parental home could not erode my wish to talk to my beloved. See, Ciara, see; see the POP that has enveloped my foot up to the edge of the knee. I know it is a testimony of my betrayal.

Yes, a worst husband I have been. Yes, the worst of all the worst on earth. But Ciara in as much as I am evil to you my beloved, it doesn’t mean that my life cannot transform. Remember the story of the biblical Saul turned into Paul. Give me a chance I will turn into Paul, I swear, honestly, I swear. I have been on the road to Damascus like Saul. I have been blinded by scales like Saul. In my case the scales have been a road accident. I have changed Ciara, my life has changed, we need to go back home and live a happy life.

My rose flower you are the only one I can confess to. I am ready to tell you nothing but the truth. The girl you read about in the newspaper and even probably watch on TV being oxygenated has been my girlfriend for the past year and a half. Get me right when I say I confess, I really mean it. I am sorry that many a times I lied to you that I was going to this hotel or that for this workshop or that conference all just to have a license to escape from home and be with the girlfriend.

To begin the story from the very beginning, that is the beginning of the beginning, I firstly lied to my superiors at the office that I have to take three days leave to nurse my ailing father at the hospital. That having been granted I went on to inform you my beautiful wife that I would be out of home for three days attending a strategic plan workshop in Mangochi. I recall seeing your eyes going pale, not out of anger but love. I saw you and our beloved two little kids, Tinashe and Yolanda, waving me goodbye.

Ciara, it just happened that it was Towera’s birthday. Sorry, I didn’t tell you that her name is Towera Maweya. You see, we came across each other on the internet. You know, there are these many websites where people log in for online chats, seeking friends, and even partners. Let me make the point clear, I didn’t register on the site to hook up girls, no, absolutely not. Anyway, it just happened that I started having online chats with her, then next was exchanging phone numbers, oh, lord have mercy I ended inviting her for dinner at a hotel. What next? Your guess is as good as mine, we fell in love.

Sweetheart, I hope you can understand me and really understand me better. A man and a woman can’t be friends for long. You and I were at first just friends, then this other day, the magnetic forces of love pulled our lips together. It was that kiss that had the magic to whisk us to the alter four years later.

Anyway, back to the story. Some months later, I really can’t recall how many months later, and I pray that you understand me patiently and with a forgiving heart, Towera was pregnant. It didn’t matter whether I was responsible or not, what mattered is that I am a married man with two children. Actually she knows all that. She even knows the names and birth dates of our children. I know that sounds like giving too much, but no, I wanted her to appreciate that no matter her beauty, my life was committed to you and our two children. Ciara, I had no choice but to advise Towera to abort and she really did. In true sense, I didn’t want to have children outside our marriage.

Ciara, my journey with Towera started in Mulanje where we traced the banks of Likhubula river, swam in the Dziwelankhalamba dam. We then proceeded to Ntchentchere rock paintings where we admired rock marks inscribed by the akafula. Our next destination was Kasungu National Park. We did not reach it. The last thing I recall is that it was foggy and rainy in Dedza and the car started skidding.

“You will be okay,” a bald-headed spectacled doctor assured me. “You have had a blood transfusion and your foot is in POP. As for you wife she is in the intensive care with a deformed backbone. She will never be able to walk upright again.”

Ciara, I sighed a sigh of discomfiture. I thought of you and the children and what I would tell you. I called for newspapers next day morning only to see the car crash story making headlines. The worst visited me when I was trying to shift my attention from the story. I turned the TV on to listen to news, there the story was again, beaming with pictures of the damaged car, image of Towera being oxygenated and myself being stretchered into a hospital ward. You never came to see me. I reached home four days later only to find a deserted house and a note on which you said that you have suffered enough shame.

Ciara my beloved, Towera’s parents have sued me, my employers have suspended me for giving false reasons for my leave, and you have abandoned me. I can lose anything else but not you. Remember Ciara, remember, we have traveled from a distance in our love life. I know I have wounded your heart but whatever the case, no problem can tear apart the love that God blessed. Our children need our parental care. Ciara my love, please forgive me, forgive me my love. I have always been Mabvuto Chiwaya your husband and forever I will always be. Please just come out we have to go home. I have been kneeling on this door post for long, I am ready to remain kneeled for as long as it may take you to forgive me. Please, I can never leave this place without you.